Today is my boyfriend's 23rd's birthday, I celebrated it simply and silently and alone...
I lit candles for him and wished him all the best things in life that God can give him.
I was hoping I could call him and listen to his voice...
I still cannot text or call, though I kept on violating these with my own free will.
I am not incriminating myself anyway!
I saw my best friend today, I told him how tired I am of my life, How I wish that all would get well for me--- that I can graduate this March 28, 2009. What more can my mother ask for, this is also my papa's final request, that I finish my course, AB English.
I also talked to my spiritual director who enlightened me... he made me realize how poor my faith in the Lord is. He told me to ask the Lord God to increase my faith as He gives the gift of faith to those whom he wants. He said "nothing happens by accident, everything has a purpose". It makes me think maybe God is thinking of everything that is best for my family when he decided to take my papa away from us. Mama still cries for him, still misses his company... I cannot do anything but watch her in silence...
All in all today is a FAIR day, I don't have much qualms, I was able to visit my seminary friends, was able to return to the Lord through the sacrament of confession...
Thanks you LOrd for giving my boyfriend another year.
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