thoughts of an ATENEAN...

this is NOT yet a break from reality
only my impulsive side
how can i reconcile what is within my limits
from what lies beyond?

i ask myself, do i still have SELF CONTROL?
am i still in my sane mind?

why am i TOO ANGRY with the world esp. with my
former so-called "best friend"...
why am i pestered by pesky apathetic seminarians?
why am i this impulsive? aggressive?

and why do i FIGHT BACK?
i am being uncatholic to KIP,
i am being uncatholic to my witchy boss and her cohort who
is a gossipmonger and bi***

i fought my brother this morning
the one whom you DO NOT know how evil he is because
he said he "IS GWAPO"...ewww...
i'd rather go for a chipmunk!
he was angry because i exposed him to his benefactors,
my tita and my "sophisticated" female cousin...

my tutee, MR. "jun" luzada decided even to
dissolve our Memorandum of Agreement, to be binding only for
ONE (1) month, thus, i only earn 1000php on dec 18, 2009

GOD WHY AM I LIKE THIS?
why did my Spiritual director said he cannot be
at my "beck and call anytime" i want---
did he knew that I have been needing him?
did he possibly think that i am feigning it all;
resorting to affectation?

i cried. i cried.i cried...
but he had not been that hanky to wipe the tears off
he had not seen my puffy eyes or my rudolf-like nose
NO, he was not there...

my life is going nowhere...
but i keep on fighting and living.
but,

I AM VERY TIRED!
and i will rest now while is sing the song:
"i will fight and WIN or fight and DIE"---
yes losers go to hell...
losing is not an ATENEAN's option--
...dying is!!!