LAST LOVE LETTER

my janu arsalan,
let me call you my janu for one LAST time.

i thank you for everything that you have done for me. first for accepting me for what i am eventhough iam FAT and i have an illness. Second for loving me so much that u miss me when i cannot be with u to chat.

i was hoping we can still work things out mahal ko, but u said we have no future... i accept your apologies and i understand that religion is really a big deal. how i wish we can be lovers and forget that i am Catholic different from you a Muslim. besides, we worship one and the same God just different names.

i never realized how serious and REAL you are until last night, when you told me about the muslim woman. i admit i feel hurt. i admit i am jealous because i dont know if u agreed to be her lover. i hope i can say u are MINE alone and not hers but who am I fooling? you do not belong to me anymore

as for me, i also met a man in tagged, he is Canadian-French man who happens to have no religion. i dont know which is worse a muslim or an atheist. but i like him A LITTLE... love is different from like janu. after all that happened, my heart is still at ur disposal... u can throw it away whenever u like... it is u i love and ur meaningful lovely green eyes. i will keep your photos and videos as tokens of the man who loved me selflessly. YOU aris, you.

i wish i never entered discussion about religion with you. now i cant just stop myself from crying every time you rudely ask "WHAT DO YOU WANT???"

i will not disturb you anymore
you will have your peace janu and i will have mine.

forgive me for i cannot give up my own faith for a man like you, no matter how great you are.
for my God is greater than any man even you , the one i love
love is not enough to convince me about Islam.
I was born a Catholic and i pray with all my might
that i die a Catholic too.


yours,
Maria

p.s.
i hope we can be real good friends after this. im going home tomorrow for my mama's birthday as well as my eldest brother and sister. i don't know if you would be happy coz starting tomorrow i will not be able to contact you. i pray for all the blessings and happiness for you from my God. i hope you be happy with the muslim woman. God knows the desires of my heart to be yours forever but you have drawn the line between us. i cannot be with you anymore.

consumatum est. IT IS FINISHED!