for my prince, William

don't say I LOVE YOU
if you don't mean it
i often tell myself
and i will never say this
to you if it is untrue
you came into my life
as if in a dream
and i don't want to ever
wake up anymore
finding that what
lies beside me
is a cold pillow...

i long to feel your caresses
i long to hear your sweet
murmurs of undying love
i long to hear you call me darling
i long to touch you
and kiss your lips
and make you mine forever

please believe me
coz i am falling fast
and promise me that
you will never break
my fragile heart...

i am yours
and my heart tells
no lies
thank you for coming
into my life
each day that i come
to know you
i love you all the more!

Mahal kita(I love you in Filipino)

LAST LOVE LETTER

my janu arsalan,
let me call you my janu for one LAST time.

i thank you for everything that you have done for me. first for accepting me for what i am eventhough iam FAT and i have an illness. Second for loving me so much that u miss me when i cannot be with u to chat.

i was hoping we can still work things out mahal ko, but u said we have no future... i accept your apologies and i understand that religion is really a big deal. how i wish we can be lovers and forget that i am Catholic different from you a Muslim. besides, we worship one and the same God just different names.

i never realized how serious and REAL you are until last night, when you told me about the muslim woman. i admit i feel hurt. i admit i am jealous because i dont know if u agreed to be her lover. i hope i can say u are MINE alone and not hers but who am I fooling? you do not belong to me anymore

as for me, i also met a man in tagged, he is Canadian-French man who happens to have no religion. i dont know which is worse a muslim or an atheist. but i like him A LITTLE... love is different from like janu. after all that happened, my heart is still at ur disposal... u can throw it away whenever u like... it is u i love and ur meaningful lovely green eyes. i will keep your photos and videos as tokens of the man who loved me selflessly. YOU aris, you.

i wish i never entered discussion about religion with you. now i cant just stop myself from crying every time you rudely ask "WHAT DO YOU WANT???"

i will not disturb you anymore
you will have your peace janu and i will have mine.

forgive me for i cannot give up my own faith for a man like you, no matter how great you are.
for my God is greater than any man even you , the one i love
love is not enough to convince me about Islam.
I was born a Catholic and i pray with all my might
that i die a Catholic too.


yours,
Maria

p.s.
i hope we can be real good friends after this. im going home tomorrow for my mama's birthday as well as my eldest brother and sister. i don't know if you would be happy coz starting tomorrow i will not be able to contact you. i pray for all the blessings and happiness for you from my God. i hope you be happy with the muslim woman. God knows the desires of my heart to be yours forever but you have drawn the line between us. i cannot be with you anymore.

consumatum est. IT IS FINISHED!

MARTYRDOM OF THE HEART

i am free
and yet i missed the cage
i once was in

for there i was secure
for there i was assured
for there i was loved

he is now gone
and may be he won't be back
a promise was broken

a heart shattered to pieces

but i can still breathe
i can still be
i can still survive

because i am not that hurt

it must've been the plan
of the Master and Creator
that i must never love a Muslim

our differences will be stark
and bright as daylight
all will end up in just games

because in the end i will stay
forever a Catholic
it is DO or DIE.

TORN

i don't know
what to do, i am torn
between keeping Aris
and breaking up with him

everything says he is
wrong for me,
he is younger,
he is Muslim,
but my heart
says otherwise

is this really love
i am feeling?
am i ready to sacrifice?
am i ready to wait and
really love him?

Oh God help me...

FOR MY LOVE

For Aris

You came when everything was dark
You came just like a dream in my sleep
Tell me again you love me
Tell me once more that you care
Tell me that you are truly mine...
Tell me that i can trust you
that you won't break my heart

I love you for who you are
for those meaningful and loving stares
for your sweetness
for your understanding
for accepting me as I am
for making me feel beautiful each day
for making me a woman once more

i thank you for coming into my life
for letting the sun shine in
for letting the rainbows part
the dark clouds of rain
for letting the roses bloom again

i love you and I care

Sometimes i don't know what to do or say
My heart beats are enough testament
that it beats only for you, Aris.
Only for my janu, Arsalan!

i love you baby...

(I made this poem just today)

Cupid's Favorite

i dont know what to say
i met this man on the web
he's handsome
beyond compare
and nice...

he asked me to be his
girlfriend
i don't know what
got into me to say
YES

all i know is that i
like him
and now maybe..
im falling in love
fast!

help me out cupid...

hiatus at daddy's kingdom

im at daddy's place now...
in ombao rectory

very sleepy because of
taking quilonium...

hmmmm....

can't think straight now

all i know is that
i'm relatively happy.

A LESSON FOR APPLE

it is when a person
forgets the value of a friend
that one surely miss
the joys of companionship.
no one likes a person who is
resentful, jealous
and insensible
as if his heart and mind
is focused on himself alone.
ah! what stupidity
what selfishness!
and yet when that friend
goes far away
that person will sure to miss him
and wade in a sea of regrets---
how he wished he had been
more understanding,
open and more giving
ah! i felt the same way
somehow now that Kuya Rex
is away in Rome
but, i have little regrets
except the fact that sometimes
i wasted time in making war
with him instead of showing my care
when he was close by.
the love of a friend---
it is priceless and fragile.

*to Apple and Bernard

New Priests

Congrats to Fathers:

Rey Chavez
Ronald Angeles
Russell Pletado

May God grant you the grace
to persevere with his blessings
so that in each day you may grow
in Christ's perfection...

We love you!

SLEEPY MURMURS

a flicker of happiness
may be enough
for one day
even just for today

why can joy be fleeting?
but the memory etched
somewhere where it is
indelible

ah! i wish for cool waters
to wake me
for this happiness seemed
likely to linger
now that i am more awake.
2.16.10

To Love or To be Loved?

i don't know which is better
to love someone or to be loved?
i missed both these feelings
and wound up being forlorn
as if i'm really alone
i am grateful for the love
and support of my doting mother
who never tires of caring for me--
as well as my seven siblings
who were responsible for
the person I am now--
their encouragement
made me believe i can achieve
things i dare not imagine
but then, at night i struggle
to keep off thoughts of growing gray
alone with only a pillow to hug
and take refuge for warmth...
i think of that someone
who MIGHT be out there, waiting,
YES, i want both: to love and
to be loved back...
there's no better music than
to hear the words, I love you
from the one that holds your heart!

On Prince of Persia

I watched Prince of Persia today
at SM Cinema 4
as usual I was alone
and have no date... =(

the movie was exhilarating &
truly beautiful
it reminds me to make wiser choices
so as not to regret the consequences

hmmm.... I wonder if i could turn back
the hands of time i possibly would
choose not to have met or befriended
Nald and Jei
Nald who had become my boyfriend then
and Jei who have hurt me so bad
that I given up our friendship all along...
I should not have suffered very much---
yes, because of these two...

anyway, Going back to the past only happens
in dreams and movies, so who would even dare?
sometimes we regret too much but we cannot
do anything but go on...
no need for moping, really!